By Dan Williams
1. Violence or Abusive Behavior
Any form of physical, verbal, or emotional abuse is a clear red flag. Love does not harm.
Colossians 3:19 – “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.”
1 Corinthians 13:4–5 – “Love is patient, love is kind… it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”
2. Sexual Immorality and Lack of Self-Control
If a partner pressures you into premarital sex or disregards purity, it shows disregard for God’s standard.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 – “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication.”
Hebrews 13:4 – “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”
3. Dishonesty and Deception
A pattern of lying, hiding details, or being secretive shows lack of integrity.
Proverbs 12:22 – “Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.”
Ephesians 4:25 – “Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour…”
4. Unequal Yoke in Faith
If they do not share the same faith or values in Christ, it leads to conflict and compromise.
2 Corinthians 6:14 – “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers…”
Amos 3:3 – “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”
5. Pride, Lack of Humility, or Unteachable Spirit
If they refuse correction, lack humility, or cannot submit to godly counsel, it’s a warning sign.
Proverbs 16:18 – “Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.”
James 4:6 – “God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.”
6. Financial Irresponsibility or Laziness
If they refuse to work, are reckless with money, or refuse accountability, it may affect the marriage.
1 Timothy 5:8 – “But if any provide not for his own… he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”
Proverbs 21:5 – “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.”
7. Lack of Genuine Love and Respect
A partner who disrespects, demeans, or fails to show sacrificial love does not reflect Christ’s love.
Ephesians 5:25 – “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”
1 Peter 3:7 – “…giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel…”
Abuse, immorality, dishonesty, unequal yoke, pride, irresponsibility, and lack of love/respect are clear red flags that can destroy a Christian marriage. Know these in your courtship
